Thursday, June 24, 2010

To cut or not to cut...

My Blackberry rings. On the screen I see the number of the caller. "Hey, Janice. How are you?" I say. "It's terrible, Stella. I have to go to this wedding tomorrow and I have no Idea what I'm going to wear. Chandler's ex is going to be there and I gotta make her crazy jealous." Janice explains. "Hmmmmm..." I reply. "Did you see what she did to him the last time we ran into her?" "Uh-huh." "She's such a douche!" "Uh-huh." "Stella? Are you listening to me?" "Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, girl. I've been really preoccupied lately." "Tell me about it maybe I can help." Janice offers. "Well, you see I've been working on this scene in my novel. There's this part were Mia's thinking about the war in Iraq and about how the Americans are intruding on another country's internal affairs. She also thinks about how happy some of the Iraqis were that the Americans were there. Not all the Iraqis are pleased about it of course. She doesn't see it as liberation for the Iraqis, more like liberation into further chaos. She acknowledges that everyone has a different opinion on war." "Mmmmmm..." "I think this part of the scene is a great parallel to Mia's future struggles on Gaia. She is an outsider getting involved in another culture. Some are happy she's there, others want her to leave. This also foreshadows the chaos that will eventually come as a result of Mia's meddling on Gaia." "Uh-huh." My problem is that another writer thinks I should cut the scene entirely. That it makes Mia sound like a whiner, and I could lose the reader. I don' know what to do. I like how this ties together the social and political issues involved, but I don't want to bore the reader." "Uh-huh." "Janice, are you listening to me?" I say. "Oh my God!" "What?" Shuffling sounds come from the earpiece, "I think I just found the perfect dress!"


Jean Davis said...

ROFL! And this is why we don't bother non-writers with our plot issues. Silly Stella.

Is this scene in the chapter I haven't got to yet or one I already read? I don't remember it off hand.

Stella Telleria said...

It's in my new chapter one. I've cut the first two chapters and have edited the third chap to be the first. We get into the story faster this way, though I'm mourning those first two chaps. *sniff,sniff* I'm going to post it in my private queue on CC. Take a swing at it when you can. I know you've been uber busy combatting girl scouts. I'd love your take on it. Did you get my invite to the queue?

Stella Telleria said...

Oh yeah, Jean. I'm very silly. :s lol!

Jean Davis said...

I did get the invite. I'm all about the queue post as soon as I get through the chapter from last week that I didn't get to. :)

I'm going to go out on a limb--since I don't know how soon I'll get to the new chapter--and say I'm going to agree that the musing should be either cut back/cut/moved to a later spot because the first chapter is not a place I want to pause and mull, nor will I appreciate the connection to her thoughts there and the overall feel of the story because I haven't read the story yet. It will likely feel like the character is standing around mulling and the plot crawling.

I might be totally wrong and change my tune once I read the chapter, but that's my prediction.

Botanist said...

LOL! Jean already said pretty much what I was going to say. And I love the symmetry of the two threads of the conversation.

Stella Telleria said...

I have posted a revised version of the chap and have cut that scene. I'll incorperate it later on though.

Fear not. I've learnt my lesson.

Stella Telleria said...


If you ever become a premium member at CC, I would love to invite you to my private queue. Let me know. It's got it's perks.

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